Wednesday, September 14, 2011

An Open Letter to the Schwarz

What have you done!?
Created a monster you have

I figured it out tonight

I'm not an addict
I'm a user
BIG difference

perfect dovetails made easy

an addict keeps taking more and more to satisfy that ever increasing craving
a user takes what he needs and only enough to get off
a user takes a break occasionally to recharge
or rather purge the affect

to make it better the next time

I still have to buy
but only to get er done

a week ago my first square
turned out to be not square
every other damn first tool I bought met pretty much the same doom

Jer's chair

I replaced it

although only a small square; four inch overhang
it seems to be the single most used tool in my shop
well, there is the pencil

so i scoured the bay for  good BCTW rosewood square
then PWM published a transfixing article by none other than god himself
and I realized
sure would be nice to make my own counterfeit BCTW try square
could take weeks, like my custom infill smoother
but it's gotta be SQUARE

then I remembered that little nagging voice in the dark nether region of my primate brain
just go buy one!
but the Schwarz spoke from beyond and said unto me
buy a damn good one you moron!

so I journeyed to where the trees are like gumdrop pillows, and unicorns and fairies play beer pong among twizzler tufts
and put my cash on a Vesper
even sounds cool huh?

this will be my fourth Vesper

yea, I'm a user

some of my best tools, my most reached for tools, my most beautiful tools

bear his title

and all you internet power tool junkies can scoff and bitch and troll at how much a Vesper costs

then you can use one every day for a year

then write me back and apologize

and apologize to Chris while you're at it

yea both of them.

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